Breaking away.

i have suffered enough. 

your insults, your comments, your ways. 

your means of embarrassing me, your false understanding of my knowledge, your underestimation of my ability, your attitude.

you think i can just be taken advantage of, not anymore. your personality disgusts me. you think that you're high and mighty, i highly doubt. you never gave me a chance to prove myself. you never. im tired of being broken down by your words, im tired of being scared. im tired of wanting to run away.

you are supposed to nourish my learning and support me, but instead only to step over me as if i were soil on the ground. you are supposed to have the patience.

nobody will ever understand because you treat me the worst among the others. "she doesnt treat you that bad" they say. oh, you don't know. she jokes around with others but with me she's the opposite. she never thinks of it in my shoes. how would i feel? 

im done trying to escape.

im not willing to get all panicky and get anxiety attacks for your entertainment. your knowledge has been wasted, your time just spent on pointing out my flaws. 

the next time, i am not going to care anymore, i will not try to impress you any further, i will not try to push myself and be the best i can be, for you. i will push myself to be great for someone else instead, someone who will appreciate my attempts, someone who will encourage me, someone who can see my true intentions and hard work.

im not going to tolerate you, and im done being the person you try to push down. im not going to care, i am going to be better than i have ever been, without you.

-beth